she looked like the before picture.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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