i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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