one two three fourrrrnication!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
