My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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