yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
