i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
