I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just had sex on a roof
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
