Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize