so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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