you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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