so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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