Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
