I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My vagina just clenched in fear
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
