So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
