I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
