i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
