to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
