Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
