Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
