no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
