this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
