Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
