Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
