Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
