i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
