butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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