STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
