so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
