If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
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i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
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nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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