The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
