You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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