Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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