I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
