so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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