I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
