i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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