im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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