how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
And then he peed in my hair
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