i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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