Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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