we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
