Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
