And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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