I seem to have left my pride at pride
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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