I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches