Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...