is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.