I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
