I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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