I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
