i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
