Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
