No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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