So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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