Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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