what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
