if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
