I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
FUCK WHALES
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
