I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
