Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
