i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am spending my child support on dildos
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize