it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize