after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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