I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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