If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Randomize
